Heads On Sticks & Ventriloquists

The prodigious writings of a tortured genius.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Lottery Tickets Do Not Make A Great Christmas Gift

Every year I see the same commercial from the "Penn-syl-vania Lot-ter-y" (sing it), where some jackass is out on a snowy Christmas Eve giving out lottery tickets to his friends. Despite what the commercial states, lottery tickets are actually a terrible Christmas gift. Giving someone a lottery ticket is like giving someone your trash. It's just extra work. Now that you've given someone a lottery ticket for the holidays (take that Bill O'Reilly), you've forced them to turn on the TV and look at a hopeless series of numbers on a piece of paper.

Giving someone a lottery ticket for Xmas is giving them the gift of a fraction of a tinge of hope for a better economic welfare -- "Sigh, a lottery ticket. Oh, what the hell, no harm in watching the lotto numbers". This is why, instead of spending money on lottery tickets, I suggest that you just tell people that, instead of getting them a gift, you decided to pray that they make more money someday. Jesus will sort it out.

Of course, you don't actually want them to win the lottery (unless you are related), because you would feel like an idiot. You're the guy that gave away the winning lottery ticket. Don't you feel good? No? That's what I thought. If I got a lottery ticket as a gift and it actually won. I would give half to the person that got it for me. But that's just me. I'm really, really nice.


Post a Comment

<< Home