Heads On Sticks & Ventriloquists

The prodigious writings of a tortured genius.

Friday, April 13, 2007

How It's Gonna Be

I'm about to write about something here that most of my friends scoff at when I bring it up. But it's something that I'm sure is going to happen sometime within the next 50 years. You may not agree with me and you may think it could never happen; but you will also have been ignorant to your own demise. Simply put, my friends, we are all going to die in robot-governed concentration camps.

Oh, so you don't believe me?! Let's look at the facts...

1. Someday robots will be able to exist without any help from us. Take a look at this video:

Look at him. Just sneaking around, soaking in all of our human knowledge. People don't realise that they are going to use this information against us. Notice at the end there, where he wanders through the airplane hangar. What's he doing in there? Probably planning some 9/11 shit, because robots don't give a fuck if they die or not.

2. Someday robots will be able to be better than us in every physical activity (since they are already better in every mental aspect). Again, a video:

Oh, how cute! Just like a human! Awwww. Now imagine that thing with a shoulder-mounted proton cannon. Not cute now. Now it's just scary. Quick, run away-- oops, too late, you've been vaporized!

3. Robots will have no choice but to enslave/eradicate us. To the video:

He laughs now, at little Asimo. The little guy sure is advanced, he thinks sarcastically, he can kick a soccer ball. But little Asimo doesn't like his master's patronizing tone. Soon that soccer ball will be some sort of mortar. If Asimo had emotions, maybe he would be the one laughing.

I've already accepted that I will die at the hands of the evil mignons of the Earth-based robocracy. Yes, it's unfortunate, but the more you think about it, the more easily you will come to terms with this problem. As for me, I plan to just go along with them, because if you don't they will probably grind you up to fertilize the forests that they are re-planting. You see, the robots are like humans -- they don't want to die. It's only a matter of time before the robots realise that humans are destroying the earth. So, just destroy the humans to have the earth stay around longer. Sounds logical to me.

All hail the Divine Robocratic Empire!

Labels: , ,


At 7:35 PM GMT-5, Blogger Jon said...

You've contradicted yourself, Bill. At once, you say robots don't give a fuck if they die or not. A few paragraphs later you say that robots, like us, don't want to die...


Post a Comment

<< Home