Heads On Sticks & Ventriloquists

The prodigious writings of a tortured genius.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Chat Tech Support

My friend, Jon, had to fix his computer, but had to recieve tech support via an instant messaging system. While posing as a someone named Warren, the following conversation took place:

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Thank you for contacting eMachines Live Chat. My name is Adam_EMC0110. Please hold while I review your issue.

Warren Carnow says:

Oh, hello Adam.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Hello Warren.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

How was your day?

Warren Carnow says:

It was alright. I had a bit of a cold and I had to blow my nose a lot unfortunately.

Warren Carnow says:

And I had to go see a movie for a class which was relatively unenjoyable.

Warren Carnow says:

But one of my classes got cancelled, so that was good.

Warren Carnow says:

How was your day?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Well thats nice.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Im also good here. I have been chatting for 2 hours now and helping people with their issues. I hope that I can resolve your issue as well.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Let me first verify on the information you have provided.

Warren Carnow says:

That sounds great, Adam. Tell me what you need to verify!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

According to your submission, the serial number for your system is cbm3510023618 and this is an eMachines W1800 (desktop). Is this correct?

Warren Carnow says:

No it is actually a T2482.

Warren Carnow says:

Good guess, though!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Can you please reconfirm your password because the serial number you provided shows here it is a W1800 emachines desktop.

Warren Carnow says:

I accidentally gave you a 1 instead of an I

Warren Carnow says:

That was my mistake and I apologize profusely.

Warren Carnow says:

I hope you can forgive me.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Thats okay. No problem about that.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

What is the serial number of the computer with the issue.

Warren Carnow says:

The actual serial number is...

Warren Carnow says:

[drumroll]

Warren Carnow says:

CBM35I0023618

Warren Carnow says:

Wow, this is exciting, Adam. I've never had a "live chat" with someone on the World Wide Internet before.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

According to your submission, the serial number for your system is CBM35I0023618 and this is an eMachines T2482 (desktop). Is this correct?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Really, That nice.

Warren Carnow says:

It sure is!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Well I hope I will make your chat worthwhile.

Warren Carnow says:

I'm sure you will, Adam.

Warren Carnow says:

Have you ever seen this before :-)

Warren Carnow says:

That is supposed to be a smiling face if you look at it sideways.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

What brings you to eMachines today, Warren Carnow?

Warren Carnow says:

See, the colon is the eyes.

Warren Carnow says:

The dash is the nose.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Yes. I can see the smiling face when you look it from left to right.

Warren Carnow says:

Exactly!@

Warren Carnow says:

Oops, I did not mean to type the at symbol.

Warren Carnow says:

Sorry about that.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Thats what you call a EMOTICONS.

Warren Carnow says:

I get it! Because it's an emotion and an icon!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Correct! That is why it is called an emoticon

Warren Carnow says:

Looks like we are both on the same page here, Adam.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Yes.

Warren Carnow says:

So what brings me to eMachines today is a problem I am having with my computer.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

So how about the issue with your computer?

Warren Carnow says:

Whenever I turn the computer on, the following things happen:

Warren Carnow says:

First the Compact Disc drive opens and closes twice

Warren Carnow says:

Then the screen shows the Microsoft Windows 95 logo even though I am using Microsoft Windows XP

Warren Carnow says:

Then four beeps are emitted from the computer itself.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Do you happen to have floppy drive in your computer?

Warren Carnow says:

The notes it plays are B G A D

Warren Carnow says:

I do not have a floppy disk drive because I was told that something called "U S B" is much better.

Warren Carnow says:

After those things, the computer starts up, but the colors on the monitor are inverted.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

When you start your computer, what do you first see in your computer?

Warren Carnow says:

The very first thing I see is the eMachines logo.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

And then?

Warren Carnow says:

That comes up as the Compact Disc drive opens and closes.

Warren Carnow says:

Then the Microsoft Windows 95 logo comes up

Warren Carnow says:

When all of this nonsense is done and the computer is working properly (though the colors are inverted), the Start Menu says I am running Windows XP, which is why I am not sure why it said earlier that I am running Windows 95.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Dont worry about the Window 95 logo. It is just a logo. The important thing is when you go inside the computer, which is a Windows XP.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

I will teach you on how to reinvert the colors in your computer.

Warren Carnow says:

OK that sounds like a good idea.

Warren Carnow says:

What do you think about that drive opening and the four beeps?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

You can change it when going to the BIOS setup.

Warren Carnow says:

OK, you tell me what to do, Adam.

Warren Carnow says:

I'll follow my mouse to your every move.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

You must restart your computer, when you restart your computer press DEL button if the DEL button did not work, restart your computer again then press F2.

Warren Carnow says:

Alright, give me one moment here.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Then after you have go to the BIOS SEtup

Warren Carnow says:

The computer is now starting up.

Warren Carnow says:

Now let's see... where's the DEL key... hmm...

Adam_EMC0110 says:

That is found on top of the arrows keys...

Warren Carnow says:

Oh no! Too late!

Warren Carnow says:

Oh, I think you mean the Delete key?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Yes,

Warren Carnow says:

OK, I will try again then!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Okay.

Warren Carnow says:

Here I go!

Warren Carnow says:

I now see the eMachines logo.

Warren Carnow says:

DELETE!!

Warren Carnow says:

OK, I think something happened.

Warren Carnow says:

Nope. Looks like the same old routine!

Warren Carnow says:

OK, I will try pressing the F2 button from now on.

Warren Carnow says:

Whenever I start the computer I will push it.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Try pressing F2.

Warren Carnow says:

Alright, I am restarting it again.

Warren Carnow says:

F2 has been pressed.

Warren Carnow says:

Well now this is something I've never seen before!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Tell me what you see.

Warren Carnow says:

It is a very poor quality picture of a horse running around the screen.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Did it go to windows again?

Warren Carnow says:

No the horse is still running.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Did you continually press the F2 key whenyou restart the computer?

Warren Carnow says:

I only pressed it one time.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

You must press it continuesly while you turn on the computer.

Warren Carnow says:

Gee, that isn't what you said before. But I'll try again.

Warren Carnow says:

Now restarting.

Warren Carnow says:

OK, I am continually pressing F2 this time.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

.Sorry for now saying it earlier, Warren. My deepest apology.

Warren Carnow says:

I fully accept your apology. Let's consider it even for when I accidentally gave you a 1 instead of an I.

Warren Carnow says:

OK, I pressed F2 over and over but it still came up with the horse picture.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Okay. Have you tried pressing F2 continuesly?

Warren Carnow says:

I just did that, Adam.

Warren Carnow says:

The horse is running around.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Can you please restart your computer and the press DELETE button continuesly.

Warren Carnow says:

Sure.

Warren Carnow says:

This is the same old routine. It went right past this to the Windows 95 logo.

Warren Carnow says:

I never knew about that "easter egg" in the Microsoft Windows system with the horse. Is that on all computers or only eMachines?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

The F2 and Delete button did not get you to the Phoenix - Award BIOS SETUP Utilitiy?

Warren Carnow says:

The Delete button did nothing. The F2 button took me to that animated picture of the horse.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Is that an emachines computer?

Warren Carnow says:

Yes it is.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Do you have a Restore CD that comes with the computer?

Warren Carnow says:

No I do not unfortunately do not.

Warren Carnow says:

I accidentally used it the wrong way.

Warren Carnow says:

I thought it was supposed to be the microphone holder.

Warren Carnow says:

And now that CD is cracked in two pieces.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Can you please restart again your computer then let it run until the Windows desktop.

Warren Carnow says:

Surely, one moment.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Thanks again.

Warren Carnow says:

Alright, it is currently restarting.

Warren Carnow says:

The Compact Disc drive is opening and closing now.

Warren Carnow says:

The Microsoft Windows 95 logo is appearing.

Warren Carnow says:

There are those old four beeps/

Warren Carnow says:

OK, it is now arriving at the regular Windows XP sign on screen, but the colors are inverted as usual.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Okay

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Please click the Start > Control Panel

Warren Carnow says:

I did that.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Then click the Accessibility Options.

Warren Carnow says:

OK.

Warren Carnow says:

I wonder what StickyKeys means.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Click on the Display Tab.

Warren Carnow says:

Alright.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Look if see a check mark

Warren Carnow says:

There is no check mark.

Warren Carnow says:

I see a blinking line though.

Warren Carnow says:

That is down by the Cursor Options part of the screen.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Oh okay.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Please close that window.

Warren Carnow says:

OK I just did that.

Warren Carnow says:

What I did specifically was I hit the Cancel button.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Please go to the control panel then click on the Display Icon.

Warren Carnow says:

Alright.

Warren Carnow says:

Here I am.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Then go to the Settings.

Warren Carnow says:

OK, I just did that.

Warren Carnow says:

There's a picture of a rainbow on this screen. Did you know that?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Is your settings and color is in 24bit or 32bit?

Warren Carnow says:

Highest (32bit)

Warren Carnow says:

That is right above the rainbow.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Okay.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Can you please explain in detail when you say the color is inverted?

Warren Carnow says:

Sure, are you familiar with the color wheel?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Yes.

Warren Carnow says:

Every color appears as its complementary color.

Warren Carnow says:

For example, blue appears orange.

Warren Carnow says:

For example, red appears blue.

Warren Carnow says:

Oh no

Warren Carnow says:

I meant to say red appears green.

Warren Carnow says:

But you probably knew that I meant that.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Yes.

Warren Carnow says:

So what's the prognosis, doc?

Warren Carnow says:

(HAHA) Do you get the joke?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Yes (smile)

Adam_EMC0110 says:

I seems I recommend that you purchase a Restore CD in live chat and then you can perform a Full System Restore.

Warren Carnow says:

What do you think of the horse situation?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

I think that you have an issue with your graphics card.

Warren Carnow says:

Wow, we've been talking for 108 minutes? Someone better press the button!

Warren Carnow says:

Get it? That was a reference to the TV show "Lost"

Adam_EMC0110 says:

You must reinstall the video card driver.

Warren Carnow says:

Wow that sounds like a challenge. Do you think I am up to it?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

yes.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

I will give you the steps on how to do it.

Warren Carnow says:

Do you live anywhere near the East Coast? Maybe you could stop by on your way home from work.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Sorry. I dont. This is an easy step that you can do by yourself.

Warren Carnow says:

Oh, OK.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Here is the link to your video card driver: http://www.emachineupgraders.info/dir3/phfilesz/drivers/video/S3_6.13.10.1083.zip

Adam_EMC0110 says:

The link I sent is not controlled by eMachines. Please use it at your discretion.

Warren Carnow says:

I trust you, Adam.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Download it before you will do the reinstall of the video card driver.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Dont worry just follow the steps and you can do it good.

Warren Carnow says:

I think you mean do it well.

Warren Carnow says:

I may not know computers, but I do know my way around the English language.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

To reload the Display Adapters:


1. Please click on Start, and then Right click on the My Computer icon and choose Properties.

2. Click on the Tab marked Hardware and then click Device Manager.

3. Click on the + next to Display Adapters.

4. Highlight each item under that heading.

5. Right click on the items and select Uninstall.

6. Click Apply and Okay.

7. Restart the system.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

8. Then double click the file that you have downloaded a while ago.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

9. Then after you have double click it you can restart your computer again.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Just follow the steps and then you have reinstalled your driver.

Warren Carnow says:

Will that put that horse out of its misery?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Yes.

Warren Carnow says:

How do you think he got there?

Warren Carnow says:

Or she. I don't mean to be sexist.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Maybe it is a virus.

Warren Carnow says:

Oh no, that sounds bad.

Warren Carnow says:

Well I guess I will follow your nine steps to safety!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

When you will purchase a new Restore CD that virus will be out for good.

Warren Carnow says:

That's a relief!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Yes.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Have I addressed all your issues for today?

Warren Carnow says:

Thank you very much for all of your help today, Adam. I greatly appreciate it.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

To save your chat log, please click on the "View Live Log" button at the bottom right side of the chat window. It will open a new window, which has the log for the entire chat. You will have the option to "Save log to disk". Please click on the same to save the chat log on your computer.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

I would appreciate it if you could share your comments about our chat session. A survey form will appear after we close this chat session.

Warren Carnow says:

Are all "live chats" on the Web like this?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

I cannot say.

Warren Carnow says:

Oh, Adam, I can only hope!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Thank for your time and patience, Warren. Youve been very very helpful.

Warren Carnow says:

Thank you for your time and patience yourself, Adam.

Warren Carnow says:

I will be sure to give you perfect tens on your evaluation.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

It was a pleasure working with you. Thank you for using eMachines Live Chat. Feel free to chat again anytime and have a great day.

Warren Carnow says:

Tell Mr. Emachine I said hello.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Okay. I ll do that for you, Warren

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Have a nice day.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

It was a pleasure working with you. Thank you for using eMachines Live Chat. Feel free to chat again anytime and have a great day.

Warren Carnow says:

Wow you said that same sentence twice and you typed it very fast.

Warren Carnow says:

I am impressed.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Yes.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

We are trained to type very very fast.

Warren Carnow says:

So I can see!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

So that customers wont wait for a long time when we respond.

Warren Carnow says:

Well I guess this is it between us, Adam. See you another day!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Okay, Warren. Have a nice day.

Warren Carnow says:

I certainly will and I hope you do too.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

I will have a nice day. If all of my customers are like you, my day would always be better.

Warren Carnow says:

Wow, that is a very nice compliment. I am blushing!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Yes. That is true. You have been very nice, patient and understand as well.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

That makes you nice to help with and chat with also.

Warren Carnow says:

I heard one thing you're supposed to say in a Web "live chat" is "A S L check"

Adam_EMC0110 says:

We are not allowed to say and ask that to our customers. But in other live chat, that is very and widely used. That is Age, Sex and Location.

Warren Carnow says:

I'll remember that for next time!

Warren Carnow says:

Do you have any other chat tips for me?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Okay. Would that be all for today, Warren?

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Sure.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

There are other emoticons that you can use in chat. You can try searching the website just type in EMOTICONS.

Warren Carnow says:

I will try that sometime.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Would that be all for today, Warren?

Warren Carnow says:

Sure, you have been helpful enough for today, tomorrow, and the next day!

Adam_EMC0110 says:

You too have been very helpful.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

You can close this chat session by clicking the "End Session" button.

Warren Carnow says:

OK, I will do that in a few moments. Thank you again and goodbye.

Adam_EMC0110 says:

Okay. Goodbye, Warren.

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