The Rules of Life Vol. I

If you ever offer someone your hand to shake it, and they don't do anything and just stare at you -- usually a sign of them being A.) a dick B.) a smart-ass C.) all of the above -- then you should be legally allowed to take your open palm and slap them across the face.

This does not apply to you if you are an evil dictator trying to shake the hands of a peasant that you have oppressed, or anything along those lines. But if it's because of an argument, a difference of opinion, or just blind contempt, there is no excuse for not shaking someone's hand. Swallow your pride you asshole!

This was inspired by an episode of "Parental Control" on MTV.