Heads On Sticks & Ventriloquists

The prodigious writings of a tortured genius.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Open Letter

Today I saw something while riding my bike. It was a person that I really desperately wanted to talk to, but couldn't summon the will power. I was intimidated by this person, but at the same time, incredibly intruiged. What had put this person before me? What series of events led us to cross paths at that very moment? What I would give for a moment to maybe chat and grab a bite to eat with this person. I wish I had said stopped and said, "Hey, why don't you come to the beach with me. I'll walk my bike. Come along." The following is an open letter to this person.

Dear Naked Man Standing in the Street,
Where to begin; I feel like there is so much to talk about, even though I've only known you a short time. Know -- do I even know you? I wish I did. Well, now that you're reading this, hopefully you'll want to know me. Just don't show up at my house... naked and all. So, sir, why are you without clothing? Perhaps an F-14 Tomcat took off on this street and blew your wardrobe off (that would explain the dazed look on your face). Please, my new friend, I implore you to tell me why you are in the nude. Your pale white skin suggests a life hidden in your basement, but your weathered arms lead me to believe that you are a craftsman; a carpenter presumably. A crazy carpenter -- no doubt, as our place of meeting was a public street at just past noon on this beautiful New Jersey day. The heat is harsh today, be wary of your tender and newly-sunkissed genitals. Apply a tanning lotion where neccesary.

A woman is coming out now to call you in -- your wife? neighbor? state-liscened mentally challenged home care-taker? Whatever the case may be, she is cool and calm in this situation. You're a lucky man, whoever she is. She is there for you when you are wrinkled and naked in the outdoors. Her overall ease with the circumstances before us leads me to believe that the two of you have been in this same place several times before. Is she holding you back? Is she stopping you from achieving total freedom in the beautiful wilderness of this urban shore point? If so, run. Run as fast as you can. Get away from this street. There are many more streets ahead. Follow me. Don't be afraid. Never be afraid.



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