Various Videotape Recordings For An Assasin

TO: XXXX XXXXX XXXX
FROM: XX XXXXXX
DATE: XX/XX/91

Hello [omitted]. By now you should have recieved half of your payment. You will recieve the other half upon completion. You must get to the General Mills Apple Orchard outside Seattle, WA. This is where your targets reside. They are known colloquially as "Apple" -- a portly, oafish man, costumed in green -- and "Cinna-Man" -- a gawkish and lanky man, costumed in pumpkin orange. Unfortunately they have deleted all archived photographs of themselves... you'll know when you see them.

Take them out as swiftly as possible. [omitted] Keep it clean. I'm hoping this will blow over.

Best of luck.

-[omitted]


















TO: XXXX XXXXX XXXX
FROM: XX XXXXXX
DATE: XX/XX/92

It's been long since our last meeting, and I thank you for your excellent work. No one even noticed that Apple and Cinna-Man were missing. I've erased as much of their past as possible.

I now have a size-able hit lined up for you. This will pay more, however the profile is higher. Take a look at the following image.
















From left to right their names are Quienno, Wendell, and Bob. The Columbians want them dead for fucking them over in '82 and going public with their delicious cereal, containing traces of pure cocaine. The cocaine is "disguised" as cinnamon swirls... the taste you can see, rather. In this picture they are shovelling down keys of blow, freshly stolen from a raided go-fast boat.

This is also an inside job. Wendell, the oldest one in the middle, has a struck a deal with the furious Columbians, hoping to save his own neck. He'll give them a cut of the cereal sales, if they can "off" the other two. This way everyone takes in a greater profit.

I've included a round trip plane ticket to Florence, Italy, where they currently are vacationing. Make sure Quienno and Bob do not return.

[omitted]

Good luck.


TO: XXXX XXXXX XXXX
FROM: XX XXXXXX
DATE: XX/XX/97

Good to be working with you again, [omitted]. Hopefully your extended vacation has been going well. I heard Wendell has been lining your pockets these past few years. Very nice. This next job comes from a secretive agent known only as "Chip". He has been in the organized crime business for quite some time and he wants out. In order to do so, he must get rid of the "higher-ups". Observe this image:













"Chip" is the dog in the red sweater. He is hiring us to get rid of "Cookie Crook", his boss and owner. The man in the background is Officer Crumb, head of the Boston PD narcotics unit. Chip has given us a time and a date for their next planned heist. If all goes according to plan, Chip will break off from Cookie Crook, exposing him to you.

The job will take place at the Museum of Baked Goods (ironically owned and operated by our good friend Wendell) on 12th Street in Boston. More instructions await you there.


TO: XXXX XXXXX XXXX
FROM: XX XXXXXX
DATE: XX/XX/01

[omitted], I know we've had a falling out since I last hired you. It is unfortunate that Officer Crumb spotted you and you had to kill him as well. I simply felt that this action came with the territory, and I did not want to pay you for the added hit.

So, to make amends, I'm prepared to pay you double your normal rate, for just a single kill. I've been hired by three young entrepeneurs to help them "expand their business". I cannot reveal their identities.




















They have a particular grudge against one Coco the Monkey. Apparently he is to reckless with their beloved "Krispy" franchise, wildly pouring large amounts of chocolate over their rice bits and passing it off as his own product. Instead of suing for copyright infringement, they want him dead.













You'll be travelling to Perth, Australia for this one. Again I've included a round trip ticket. I'm not sure where exactly he's based there, but rumor has it you can bribe the locals easily and this ape holds a notorious reputation there.

Best of luck, if you choose this mission.

[omitted]