Grey's Anatomy: Good or Bad?

The answer of course is bad.

The badness of Grey's Anatomy is its ability to cull so many different forms of badness into one really bad show. It's bad like The OC is bad, because of the awkward writing, all-too-quick wit and its status as a thinly disguised soap opera on at primetime hours. However, interestingly enough, Grey's Anatomy is able to draw from the badness of CSI as well. This factor being the unlikable characters and the ridiculous plot points throughout. Many people incorrectly cite House M.D. as being CSI-bad, whereas it is actually "later-years-of-The-X-Files-bad" (i.e. it's almost entirely boring but has weird characters and silly things happen every now and again).

Grey's Anatomy suffers from Boston Public syndrome. This is the problem where every terrible/intruiging thing that has happened in any high school ever, manages to happen in just one high school (or in this case, hospital). TV shows use this in an attempt to be socially conscious and insightful. It's a problem that many TV shows have trouble dealing with.

I've seen my fair share of the show Grey's Anatomy, even though I dislike it. "I-don't-like-it-but-I-still-watch-it-for-some-reason" is probably a large demographic for the show. This is especially true for any male that watches the show; they want to appear to be tough and manly, not like pussies who watch Grey's Anatomy. I'm not a regular viewer, but you can pretty much figure out what's been going on throughout the entire series after 5 minutes of any episode.

It's possible that the show has entirely unlikable characters on purpose, to have us relate to their flaws and then come to like them (i.e. The Sopranos, Curb Your Enthusiasm), but I don't believe this is true.

The show is aptly named, because there probably isn't a person on the show who hasn't seen Grey's anatomy. She has slept with just about every male character (that isn't black or the white guy who's a dick) and the show's only been on for like 2 and half years. Maybe I'm just a prude.

And hey, can we talk about that crazy blonde chick who Doctor-patient romance is always an exciting route to take in drama, and no one can blame them for their feelings... but killed her crippled boyfriend?! We can't blame them for their feelings for each other... but damn, bitch is crazy! She steals some sort of transplant from a more deserving patient and gives it to her man, but the harshness of the whole procedure kills the dude. Keep in mind that this most likely resulted in the death of the other patient as well. And you know what, this is fine. I have no problem with that storyline, it's good drama.

The problem however, lies in the fact that this girl still works at the hospital. Come on! I've been trying really hard to suspend disbelief after so many ridiculous situations throughout this show (e.g. a live bomb inside a man), but now I have to work extra hard to convince myself that through some loophole she wouldn't be in jail.

The problems continue when the head surgeon gets shot and then has some sort of nervous tic in his hand. Again, he's a surgeon, so he should probably tell someone so he doesn't, y'know, kill someone. Now, I'll give this man the benefit of the doubt, because I know nothing about his backstory. Let's assume that he didn't come from an affluent family that had a great deal of common sense. Let's assume that he wasn't actually smart enough to get into medical school and somehow faked his way into being head surgeon. Let's assume that he's a giant dumbass. Maybe that's why he didn't tell anyone about his little tic, and continued operating on a bunch of dudes. Even with all those excuses, after he got caught, he should've gotten fired.

So, the real problem with Grey's Anatomy is that no one gets fired.

Secret Diary of Abraham Lincoln

To: Dr. Phillip Sinclair, Penguin Publishing History Dept.
Cc: Allen Lane III, Penguin Publishers, Chair
From: Lawrence Lincoln, Sales Associate, Eckerd

Hello kind gentlemen from Penguin Books. I've pondered over your proposal to reveal the secret journal entries of my great great grandfather for several hours, and I've decided to agree with your offer and give you select portions of said entries. This has been a closely guarded family secret for nearly a century and a half, but its time that my great ancestor's words were revealed to this great nation. I await your response.

--L. Lincoln

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To: Mr. Lawrence Lincoln
From: Allen Lane III

We are glad that you've chosen to take our offer. Our lawyers should have already contacted you about your payment upon successful delivery of the diary.

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To: Dr. Phillip Sinclair, Penguin Publishing History Dept.
Cc: Allen Lane III, Penguin Publishers, Chair
From: Lawrence Lincoln, Sales Associate, Eckerd

Gentlemen,
Shame on you Mr. Lane! How dare you refer to my great great grandfather's journal as a "diary"! My great great grandfather was not a giant pussy, okay?! Anne Frank had a diary. Abraham Lincoln was a man, and he wrote in a journal, or a "log" if you will. I've decided that I'm not going to give you the physical journal, but instead a retyped word document of the journal.

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To: Mr. Lawrence Lincoln
From: The Offices of Dr. Phillip M. Sinclair

Listen, Mr. Lincoln, we're going to need the physical copy of the journal in order to be able to pay you the sum you requested. We have found it strange that you keep referring to it as "our offer" when you are the one who set the price. I'm sorry for Mr. Lane's wording, please respond ASAP.

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To: Dr. Phillip Sinclair, Penguin Publishing History Dept.
Cc: Allen Lane III, Penguin Publishers, Chair
From: Lawrence Lincoln, Sales Associate, Eckerd

I've already started copying the text, so just take what you can get. You've already disgraced my great great grandfather's legacy enough. Below is a copy of one of his glorious writings.

Stardate: 1860, Day 43 with the troops

Dear journal,

It's been a rough few weeks with the fighting men. The days grow dimmer and murkier as they sweep past. If only I could get close enough to General Lee, that motherfucker. I'd put a god damned bullet right between his stupid fag eyes. Oh well, I'll just continue to single handedly control the union army as I fight with them deep into the south to stop the their communist rule.

O! journal, you've been so good to me. Letting me write in you each lonely night as I silently sob and masturbate to my smoking hot wife back home, Mary Todd Lincoln. Bitch is fiiiiiine. My greatest fear is that some day, some assjack historian will find you and then decide to call you a "diary". If anyone ever did that, well they'd probably be the biggest faggot of all time.

Yours,
Abe

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To: Mr. Lawrence Lincoln
From: The Offices of Dr. Phillip M. Sinclair

Mr. Lincoln, I could go through this and tell you all that is factually incorrect about this "journal entry", but instead I'm just going to give you one more chance to hand over the physical journal or the deal is off. Please, no more kidding around.

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To: Dr. Phillip Sinclair, Penguin Publishing History Dept.
Cc: Allen Lane III, Penguin Publishers, Chair
From: Lawrence Lincoln, Sales Associate, Eckerd

Stardate: 1870, sometime in the fall

Dear journel [sic],

So it's over. Damn, that was crazy. We won the war and all is pretty much right with the cosmos. Basically we just lined up at the north/south border and charged the hell in. I was first of course, riding a great American buffalo (A beast I fear is going to become extinct... fingers crossed!) and holding my flaming sword of liberation. So we get to Lee's evil fortress atop Mt. Doom and we just burst in and pretty much owned the place. Lee was in the corner crying like a little baby. So I go up to him, smirk, whip out my cock and skullfuck the shit out of that bitch. He was alive and screaming the whole time. When I was done I put a cork in his eye socket and let my bison eat him.

Still, even with the war won, I have an impending sense of dread. I fear that, tonight when I go to the opera... something terrible will happen. I fear that... well I fear that some smartass "doctor" historian motherfucker is going to totally screw over my bold glorious history in his book. That would fucking suck. And if that doctor does exist, he's a fucking dick.

Yours,
A-Linc

Upon Further Review

So I actually took the effort to read some of the shit that I publish here, and it's pretty bad. I mean, I use big words every so often, but that's just because I look them up in the thesaurus. Especially that last post -- jesus, talk about egotist. I need to get back into the funny. Which implies this ever was funny. It never was. And never will be.